On Christian Guilt...

Have you ever noticed that when TV and movies portray someone with a guilty conscience they often will put it in a "Catholic" context - that person going to a priest for confession? There is a reason for that - Catholics tend to be really good at guilt. I know - I am one. I was raised in a very devout Catholic family and am the only person from my family not actively practicing the Catholic faith at this point in my life. Now, before people get upset with me that I am putting one denomination down over another - I need to clarify a couple of things. One is that, in my experience of talking with people, it seems most Christian denominations are equally good at making people feel guilty. Secondly, I have a deep love and appreciation for the Catholic faith - the rich symbolism and expression of faith through the liturgy and traditions is more meaningful to me than I can even find words for. Having said that, though - I'm really good at heaping guilt on myself whether I deserve it or not. And, I suspect I am not alone in this as a Christian. Darrin likes to tease me about my "Catholic guilt" when I am beating myself up about something that is really not that big of a deal. It seems to me that in many Christian circles there tends to be an emphasis on all of the obligations of the Christian life, which leads to tremendous guilt when one does not live up to those obligations. In my profession as a counsellor, I have worked with many people who battle tremendous burdens of guilt who were raised in strong Christian homes. I am not saying that is necessarily a bad thing, I guess I just want to look at one particular outcome of this as I see it.

I think it's important to note that a healthy, balanced Christian lifestyle will involve a well developed conscience - and, therefore some guilt when one realizes they have wronged another. To me, this is healthy guilt - the God-given mechanism that tells us we've done something wrong and need to seek forgiveness, make amends, and try to not repeat that. That's ok - that's life. But, what I get concerned about is the guilt that people seem to heap upon themselves when they really haven't done any wrong - or when they can't meet the unrealistic expectations they have for themselves. The problem with this type of guilt is that it can lead to some pretty serious depression. There can be a vicious cycle of someone creating really high expectations for themselves, being unable to live up to them, feeling terrible about themselves so setting even higher expectations to make up for it, etc.

I know that I've gotten myself into this cycle before. And, I watch other Christians sometimes perpetuate this through judgementalism and putting all the focus on all the "rules" of living of a "good" Christian life. Should we strive for living the best lives we can according to God's purposes for us? Of course. But, really - do we need to look down on someone who is genuinely stumbling through their Christian journey - which means they will make some mistakes along the way? I don't think so. As much as possible, I hope we can journey together with people, offering support and encouragement along the way. In my experience I think this is possible most of the time with most people we encounter along the way. There are times, though, when you find you inevitably need to set firm and clear boundaries with people who seem unwilling or unable to acknowledge or deal with the fact that their choices and actions are harming others. In my experience, these situations are rare, and always painful and difficult when they occur. But, they will occur. Otherwise, the majority of the time, most of us are doing the best we can and need the support of Christian community as we stumble through life. I've often listened at length to people beating themselves up about past mistakes, and feeling they can no longer be accepted within the church or even by God because of those actions. I find this incredibly sad, and feel that, as Christian community, we are failing these people.

I guess the way I am trying to work through my own struggle with guilt is to focus on my own heart before God. It seems to me that this lightens a lot of these burdens. It seems that when my heart is turned towards God, I tend to make choices with my thoughts and actions that are in line with His will for me and my relationships with others (as best I can determine). I'm working on focusing on the blessings in my life and those I see in other people's lives. I don't want to judge, but encourage. Will I need to challenge myself and others at times, set boundaries at times? Yes. But, most of the time we just need to remember who we are as His creation - blessed and a blessing to others.

I welcome healthy guilt when I need it - a good kick in the pants once in a while - from God, from someone who loves me, or from myself is a good thing. So, when that happens I deal with it, seek forgiveness and move on. The rest - all that false guilt - I'm working on letting go. And, in doing that I hope other people feel from me that they are accepted, loved and seen as a blessing in my life. Because that is how it is.
Lisa

No Church This Sunday

Darrin will be away at a Chaplain's conference this weekend and it sounds like most people will be gone for the long weekend. We will not have a church service this Sunday, February 18. We will be back to our usual time at 10:00 a.m. the following Sunday.

A Sunday in the Life of Sacred Heart

If you are looking for Church of the Sacred Heart, this is what you will find. We are located at 323 4th St. S. in Lethbridge, Alberta. This building was a store previously, and we have been at this location since 2000. Many "Sacred Hearters" who have moved away will remember many hours renovating this space to make it workable for church. A lot of love, time, and sweat has gone into creating an interior space that now looks like this:
We have shared this space with Streets Alive Mission for the past several years, which has worked out very well. We are located downtown in Lethbridge, which enables Streets Alive to pursue a very busy street ministry, as well as Sunday services.

On Sunday, Feb. 4th, we enjoyed music ministry by Arlene - who has been with us from the very beginning of planting this church. We appreciate Arlene's gifts, both musically, and in terms of the leadership she has helped provide over the years.

Here are some photos of Darrin getting the altar ready, and the altar just as we were about to begin our service. We had a full liturgical communion and worship service. Scripture readings were done by Chad, Dana, and Sharon. Please join us for a future Sunday service at 10:00 a.m.

Church tomorrow....

We will be meeting Sunday, Feb. 4 at 10:00 a.m. at 323 4 St. S. Lethbridge for Communion service. This will now be our regular service time each Sunday. We look forward to seeing you there, and please feel free to invite some friends!

FUN-orama!

We recently returned from a family vacation to Panorama near Invermere, B.C. The kids were pretty happy to miss a few days of school, and we were happy to take time off work. Darrin had not been skiing since the mid-90's and the last time I can remember skiing was the first time I was away from Carlin when he was a baby (about 14 years ago...) I grew up skiing a lot with my family - and, back in the day was not too bad if I do say so myself! :-) Darrin also skied a lot in his younger days and was a pretty advanced skier. Carlin had been on one school ski trip about five years ago and Brett and Sierra had never tried it. The day before we left Brett was really sick, so we weren't sure how things would turn out. However, despite all of this, it turned out to be a fantastic time and we will have lots of memories to take with us....

We put Sierra and Brett in the ski school for the first day. Panorama is very family orientated and their kids' adventure ski school is really well done. It included a supervised lunch and all day lessons for a very reasonable price. This gave us a chance to remember how to ski and give Carlin some refresher pointers. Darrin and I were both surprised at how quickly we remembered our skills.

Carlin was pretty scared at first, but very quickly got the hang of it and was up to blue runs his first day. We were impressed with how quickly he improved and how well he did.





Sierra very effectively learned to snow plow during ski school and was adamant that this was all she would do - just snow plow straight down the mountain - every time! She learned pretty quickly that this is hard on the leg muscles and we convinced her by day two that she could make turns -which she learned to do really well.

Brett decided right from the beginning of planning this trip that he wanted to snow board. We warned him that people had told us it is much harder to learn and that he might spend most of the time on his butt. After the first day of ski school, he didn't feel ready to join the rest of us, so we put him in the ski school for the second day. This helped a lot and he gained a lot more confidence. He is still pretty cautious and slow, and still spends a lot of time on his butt, but is starting to get the hang of it.

By day three, we were able to ski together as a family and had a great time. We discovered some fun trails that were easy enough for Brett to feel some confidence, but also provided areas for Darrin and I to get some speed and do some skiing that was fun for us. We went to the summit, which is all black runs except for one blue trail called "getmedown", which is what we took. It was clear, warm, and sunny on the summit and there was an amazing amount of snow on that mountain. It was beautiful and peaceful, with not that many people skiing mid-week.

We also enjoyed evening excursions in the "village" - riding the gondola from our condo up to the rest of the village. One evening we just went out for hot chocolate and walked around, and the next evening we hung out in the outdoor hotpools.

Darrin and I both seemed to have picked up the cold Brett had before we left, so we are now resting and recovering from the trip. It was a great time - and well worth it! We are hoping to do much more skiing in the future...